Confession time

Pr. 14:30:  “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones.”

My confession:  Last week I was envious and it almost turned ugly.

I have a good friend who just had a knee replacement in June.  She’d been feeling as though her progress was moving slowly; however, last Sunday, she was rocking some hot red cowgirl boots at church.

I knew that the fact that she could wear those boots was a huge moral booster for her!  I also knew that if she could comfortably wear those boots, she was WAY better than she knew.  I was immediately happy for her!  What a victory!

My next thought; however, was envious.  Here I am, 6 months out from having broken my shin, and I still can’t wear any “cute” shoes without immediate pain.

The speed at which my thoughts shifted was impressive, but scary.  One second I was overwhelmed with joy for my friend, and the next, I was almost eaten up by overwhelming discouragement about my own state of being.  I felt depression loom over me and try to block out happiness.  I felt the tears threatening to come, the struggle of wanting to feel ‘normal’.

This is all true.  During a 15-20 second conversation, all these things really happened.

Then, I remembered that my hope is in the Lord.  No matter the situation of my life, God’s plans for my life are for good.  When I trust in Him, I will be safe.

I gave my friend a celebratory hug, and walked away rejoicing for her.  Those thoughts tried to sneak back up on me a couple of times during the week, but I refused to indulge them.  God has different plans for my friend than He does for me.

No matter if I can never wear what I consider “cute” shoes again, I am here to do the work that He has planned for me.  Perhaps that work requires a slower pace and a more comfortable shoe.

Our hearts can be sound by trusting in Him.  We don’t need to trust in situations, things we ‘see’ with our natural eyes, or in comparing ourselves with others.  God is the foundation on which we build something that’s sound, and won’t rot our bones.

Rocking my cutest comfy shoes,

jamie

 

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